Yes, I missed writing a story for H. I know. I failed. But I’m not finished and I will get that posted as soon as I can. Most likely within a day or two. I just got busy and ran out of time. Well, that and multiple days of unrelenting insomnia. I can’t write when my brain is mush. Seriously. But that is over, at least for now. So, here, I present my story for the letter I.
I is for In Ice
It had been so long I couldn’t remember. How did I get here? No idea. Where was I before?
Maybe that question should be was I before. I don’t even know if I remember a before.
I felt nothing for a long time after waking up. I saw less.
But then there was light. Not enough that it wiped out the darkness that surrounded me, but enough that I realized just how dark it really was. But the light grew, a little, as time passed.
Eventually, instead of being surrounded by undifferentiated blackness, it was an undifferentiated white. I thought my eyes were open, but still it was nothingness.
That’s when the pain started.
Excruciating. Overwhelming. Unceasing.
Where there had been nothing, there was now only pain. Burning through me like a thousand suns. Destroying any possibility of rational thought.
Until it, too, started to subside.
There was still pain, but the fact that it was lessened made me almost giddy. Then it finally burned long enough that I realized it wasn’t heat I felt, but cold. I had been entirely numb, until I wasn’t. And now as I warmed, ever so slightly, I realized that this, too, was another nothingness.
Black or white. Numb or pain. When there is only one thing, what does that thing matter?
So I waited. I don’t know for how long. Once I chose not to experience the agony of the nothing or the pain or the excruciating passage of time it was better. A little better.
And I waited.
When I heard them coming I couldn’t understand it. The sounds surrounded me, the vibrations shaking everything that made up my nothing. I think it was the sound that made me notice it first. It wasn’t all one thing. It was a thing, and then it wasn’t. On then off. A cycle.
And once I noticed it in sound, I noticed it in sight too. Light then dark. No longer the eternal blackness of nothing, but a deep shade of something that made me aware of what I couldn’t perceive. The white, then the deep. Over and over, with the vibration and stillness rotating in time.
White and shaking. Deep and still.
White and shaking. Deep and still.
I tried to count the changes, but the tally kept sliding away.
When everything changed, it happened in a moment. I was in the white and shaking, and suddenly I wasn’t. The sounds changed, no longer vibrating the whole world, but sharp and urgent. The vibration changed to blows, deep and sudden. My world was coming apart, a bit at a time.
Finally, there were beings around me, touching me, pulling me into their world. They wrapped me in something and started to move me, and then I went blank.
When I awoke it was different. I wore clothes and lay in a bed in a room.
One came to me. Said I’d been in the ice a long time. Didn’t know how I survived, but was sure I would live, now.
Awaiting instructions on how to proceed.
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