Y is for YOLO
“You only live once,” they said. “You’re thirteen… you can do this! It’s just like going off the high dive at the pool.”
I really didn’t want to do it, but I let them talk me into it. That was my first mistake.
I climbed the cliff with my sister and her boyfriend. Del. What kind of a stupid name is Del? Frances Arthur Delacroix. Ha. I guess if that was my name, I’d go by Del too.
Anyway, so Del and Barbara showed me the path. It took about 15 minutes, and I was hot and sweaty by the time we got up there. My legs were covered with nasty yellow-brown dirt.
I stood there breathing hard at the top of the hill overlooking the lake. I could see Trev and Sandy and the whole group down there swimming.
I wished I’d stayed down there swimming, too.
Instead, I was up there with Barb and the goon. And they wanted me to jump off a freakin’ cliff. Great.
The water looks greener from above than it does when you’re in it. Somebody told me once it’s because there’s a lot of copper in the dirt. So my sister’s creton was really kind of egging me on to jump into a pool of pennies from up high.
I kind of thought I could do it. Just get it over with. But once I was up there my heart started racing. Not just from climbing the hill, either. I was shaking all over. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My knees locked up.
Overwhelming terror. That’s what it was.
“I changed my mind,” I told Barb. “I don’t want to do this.”
It was the muscle-bound maniac who answered me. “Don’t be a baby,” he said. “Nothing bad can happen. I’ve done this a thousand times.” He turned to Barbara. “Is she always so chicken-shit?”
“Shut up, Del.” At least she had my back. For a minute. Sort of. “Listen, Teena, if you don’t want to, fine. But if you don’t, you’re just going to beat yourself up over it. Once you do it, you’ll wonder what you were even afraid of. Seriously.”
I don’t know if I thought she was right. I don’t know if I could think at all right then, I was that scared. But I also didn’t want my sister to think I was a wuss. My friends either. They’d apparently noticed that we were up there, now, and they were all staring up at us.
Waiting for a show.
I took half a step closer to the edge, then another half a step. I got close enough that I could look straight down at the water. It really didn’t look as far as I thought.
The green was darkest right below the cliff. Deeper water there. Deep enough that you couldn’t hit bottom by accident when you jumped. That was good.
I edged a little closer again. My heart was still pounding, but my breathing wasn’t so bad now. I thought maybe I really could do it.
As I stood there, right on the edge of everything, Del started to say something. I don’t know what. He stepped closer to me and something shifted. Loose dirt. I took a half step backwards, but my feet were slipping.
Then there I was, out in the middle of the air.
I think I yelled. Not sure. I couldn’t hear anything over the pounding in my ears.
I couldn’t see anything, either, except the blue sky above me.
I hit the water, back first. All the wind rushed out of me.
The heat from the sun gave way to the icy fingers of the cold water as it wrapped around me.
And now I’m here, watching my friends pulling me out of the water. Barb and Del are running back down the hill.
You only live once, they’d said.
I need to decide whether to prove them wrong.
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