Things I’m learning about myself

When you get to be a certain age (and I will let that age remain ambiguous – don’t ask, don’t tell), you expect to have life kind-of figured out. At least the part of it that related directly to you. Everyday type stuff seems like it should just be a given.

Why then do I continue to be surprised and find out new things about myself?

old-books-436498_1280This thing I’m doing, the writing, was a smallish thing to find out.

I’ll admit, I am not one of those people who always knew I wanted to be a writer. I always loved books. I was always a reader. But I don’t think it occurred to me until the last decade or so that I even had the potential to be a writer. It’s been even more recent that I’ve actively pursued writing in a serious way.  And it hasn’t even been 6 months since I decided to make writing my primary focus. It’s weird for it to be such a big part of who I am now considering what a recent revelation it was to me. It was unexpected.

Probably a bigger surprise, though, is that, when necessary, I can and will be the kind of leader who will kick butts and take names.

What I mean by that is that I get frustrated when people I’m working with don’t get their act together and take things seriously. When they waste time. When they dawdle. When the thing I see as important seems to be ancillary to them.

Drives. Me. Crazy.

And I’ll start pushing a little to get people to do what they’ve said they would do. Which is funny (strange, not ha ha) because I spent many, many years being that person who doesn’t take things seriously, wastes time, dawdles, and has a problem with focus. In some arenas I’m actually still that person. Sometimes we all are. I think that’s OK-ish, if you’re aware of it and don’t commit to what you’re not going to take seriously. The reality is that not everyone can take every ball and run with it. There’s a big difference between having an interest in something, and feeling called to it. Something being a hobby is worlds away from something being your life.

heart-370621_1280And when you find that thing that is going to be your life, it frustrates you to see people treat it like a hobby.

It’s the difference between a time-filler and a passion. And here’s the thing – the passion will take more time and will force you to let go of things that are just filling time. Those time-fillers aren’t bad things. In fact, they are probably the passion of someone you respect, and admire, which is probably how you got involved in the first place. But when passion comes along, do the passion. Because there’s nothing more satisfying that pursuing your passion… and catching it.

I know this was a bit of a rambly post. I hate to say it, but get used to it. I’m prone to the occasional ramble. But usually there’s something buried in there that is worth considering. I hope that’s the case today. 😀

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